Monday Morning Musings

Yay Mondays. I had an appointment cancel on me today, so I find myself with that all too precious and rare commodity called a piece of free time! What? Really. So, I realize that I'm pretty terrible at keeping any sort of schedule when it comes to blogging. Bummer, but I'm working on it. But anyway, I think part of the reason I have trouble staying regular with blogging is not so much a lack of things to say but rather a feeling of needing to censor myself. I worry too much (in general, too) about what other people will think about the things I do and the things I have to say, and so even when I really have the urge to sit down, share, write it, post it, I don't. Because maybe they'll think I'm crazy or they will probably judge my opinions, etc. Which is ridiculous, by the way, because:

A. If you know me you probably know my level of crazy. It's not news anymore.

B. Who's "they" and why do I care what "their " opinion is?

C. And so what? People probably will judge me or disagree or complain, but honestly the majority probably won't care and neither should I.

So there's me talking myself back into blogging. Ha.

Now that all of that is over, here's somewhat of an update. Life is good. Which is really nice to say. I am LOVING acting school and all the fabulous people there. I am starting to audition more which is nice because even though I haven't booked anything yet, I have stuff to work on and look forward to and get excited about. I'm probably going to get my headshots redone. I like the ones I have (shout out to Brady!) but for some reason I'm getting called in more off of random ones I didn't originally plan to use as headshots and that is a little worrisome. So I will probably be getting some new ones done in the next couple of weeks. Here's to hoping they work! I've been doing lots of casting director workshops and meeting lots of new people which is always fascinating and sometimes a big reminder to be grateful for all the kindhearted, generous artist friends I have and have worked with. You meet a lot of different personalities!

Guy Dino is the clothing line concept have been working on with the fabulous Trujillo's for about a year now, and it has been slow and tedious and hard, but it seems to be finally coming together and about to launch which is super exciting! I have learned so much already and can pretty much guarantee I have LOADS more learning flying my way! But bank accounts are in place, pictures are taken, ebay is registered, it is getting really close people!!!!

The other day I was sitting in my room after a particularly stressful day and I kept having the recurring thought that despite how different people come across, at the end of the day, we are all JUST PEOPLE. Maybe people with varying levels of influence or power in various industries or walks of life, but all in all, we have hearts that beat red blood through our veins, lungs that breathe in the same air from the same planet, and brains that fire neurons and think various thoughts. And that's it. I'm not above or too good for any other thing than anyone else in the world and neither is any other person. So if I want to be great at something in the future and that means that I need to live humbly right now and work at unglamorous jobs with unglamorous people, I can love that about my life. There's nothing shameful in taking up something to survive so that you can continue to pursue something of great passion in your life for your future. There's no need to pretend to be more important than you really are, or more famous, or more successful, even though it is REALLY tempting. And to be honest, I know that I have fallen into that trap WAY more times than I would ever want to admit, but it isn't worth it. What good does imaginary glamour or fame do for you? Other than delude you to be more fake, more self absorbed, and more dispassionate. If all we live for is some sort of fabricated attention from other people, real or imagined, we've only dealt ourselves a loss. Each day spent caught up in it is simply a day wasted where you could have been investing in REAL people, REAL relationships, and REAL experiences. Even if those experiences are not all you had originally imagined they might be. But isn't real always better? REVEL IN REALITY.